Well, faithful readers, thanks for sticking with me through the ‘blackout’ – you will be pleased to know that the dreaded diss is now officially complete and I can devote my energies to other things, including this website, once more. I have sort of missed it, if I’m honest, and I was out of stock articles to upload anyways!
The dissertation was done in fairly good time, all things considered. It was printed, punched (thanks Adam!) and bound by half one the night before it was due in, and although I preferably would have liked a few more days to tweak and play with it, I was happy enough to hand it in as is – I was certainly much more happy with the final version than I was with any of my working drafts this year, so I’m feeling vaguely confident. It will never be my ‘magnum opus’, but it’s not bad and it should do the trick. (more…)
Or the common cold!
(Written in October 2008)
Pugwash News offers you advice on how to avoid the dreaded Freshers’ Flu, or, if you’ve already caught it, how to send it packing as fast as possible. Your first few weeks at uni are the most exciting of your life, and you don’t need any illnesses slowing you down or numbing your senses.
There are many different theories as to what exactly causes Freshers’ Flu, from the lecturers’ idea that it’s all down to too much sex, drink and rock & roll, to the parents’ conception that it’s due to poor living conditions in Halls and is a side effect of homesickness.
Most likely it’s a combination of these things and more; people come from all over the country, each bringing with them their own local brand of germ. Mix this bacteria party with stress, late nights, a probably less-than-ideal lifestyle and the fact that we all congregate in large groups often, and it’s no surprise that many of us are left feeling a little under the weather. (more…)
As Copy Editor for UPSU student media, my job is to ‘red pen’ – yes, it’s a verb – our website and magazine, as well as Pugwash News. I have the task of translating Pugwash into English, finding every bit of missing or superfluous punctuation, and trying to make sure that not only is everything spelled correctly, but that it makes sense too. Before you brand me a complete nerd, let me explain that this is actually a legitimate job and that we’re everywhere in the world of publishing.
(Let me also iterate that I am very far from perfect, so please don’t email me nitpick-ly pointing out the few mistakes I’m sure I let slip. I’m only human, and you should see some of the text before I get my hands on it!)
Now, most people have a basic grasp of the English language, but stumble on all the different rules and refinements of it. (more…)
My dad, with all due respect, is crazy paranoid. He guards his PIN number with his life at ATMs, covering the keypad with his wallet and free hand, while dialling the numbers covertly with the other. He shreds bank statements and receipts, then distributes the shredded paper between all the different bins in the house, to make it harder to re-piece the documents. He cuts up all his old credit cards into tiny tiny pieces, then puts them in a margarine tub in a drawer which contains all their dead predecessors, and I swear he will ask to be buried with it, literally taking the secrets locked within their chips to his grave. He has nothing to hide, he tells me, but everything to fear, for the world is out to get you. So it’s no great surprise that he is constantly warning me to take the same precautions. (more…)
A day at The Cottage begins with the sounds of my family making breakfast. Mum scraping homemade jam on warm dry toast; Pops patting the cereal in his bowl between each mouthful; Claire getting fresh watermelon from the squeaky fridge. I snuggle under my mint green comforter and daydream and listen to the hustle and bustle. I lie and observe the way the leaves on trees flirt with the wind, or simply stare at and ponder the ceiling. (The room is exactly four square ceiling tiles by six square ceiling tiles, meaning the one square light fixture can’t be centred. This fact has, irrationally, annoyed me for years.)
Then, the smell of thin crispy bacon being cooked just the way I like it tickles me out of my cosy bed. I swing my feet out onto the carpet, which is made up of thick inch-long wool threads of brown and yellow. The room is so small I can reach the top of the chest of drawers from the edge of the single bed. I brush my hair into a messy ponytail, put on a hoodie, and head to the bathroom. (more…)
Although it is considered a
Basic skill, I
Cannot alphabetise easily. It isn’t that I
Don’t understand the concept, I just find it
Extremely hard to apply the theory of the ABCs when
Filing. Often it is taken for
Granted that one can use this system to find things in a
Hurry. But
I cannot.
Just as different people have a certain
Knack for maths, while others struggle to cope, something
Like sorting from A to Z can strike fear into the hearts of some
Men (or women, for indeed we must be politically correct
Nowadays). I
Often find myself thinking that courses should be
Provided to assist unfortunate folk such as myself. Perhaps you think me
Queer? I’m sure others would agree remembering the order of the letters can be
Really difficult at times. To most, it is
Such a simple
Task, but to people like myself it is an
Undesirable chore to be avoided at all costs. I would got to
Very great lengths to devise a new, easier system to save people
Wading through the alphabet all the time. I ask Santa at
Xmas every
Year to please invent for me a new filing system so I can stop
Zipping about the office like a fool, humming the alphabet to myself.
Well, I’m back! Pretty good trip overall – a few family arguments and nothing we planned went to plan, but we did a lot and had some memorable moments. Gibraltar was alternately stunning and unimpressive, but always fascinating, and I got some sun even if I did have to wrap up against the wind!
Did you miss me? I hope not, because the next two weeks don’t really look conducive to blogging, so I might not be back for a while after this one – though I will aim to produce at least something to keep you occupied. I still have three movies to review and had some article ideas over the holidays, so watch this space; if I have a spare few minutes I’ll bash something out. I am, as someone said a few weeks ago, “slowly becoming a journalist”! (more…)
You use only the purest poisons,
You help the environment by planting weeds,
You sow your wild oats by moonlight,
And use the daylight to harvest hemp seeds.
E numbers seem strictly illegal,
It’s not safe unless it is green,
Free from artificial preservatives,
And low on salt, sugar and caffeine.
You say that you’re not on the dark side,
But mushrooms won’t grow in the light;
But as long as the drug is organic,
I guess that you must be alright.
I wonder how many people on the planet are bored right now;
A million, a hundred, just one…just me?
There must be someone else, in the billions of people out there
As bored as I am now.
Bored, boring, boredom. So very very bored.
If I was a linguist, I’d say it in a thousand languages;
Bored, boring, boredom. So very very bored.
I wonder how many words there are that mean the same as “bored”?
What would the thesaurus say; are there any different ways to say
“I am bored”?
Should’ve asked the thesaurus. Bored, boring, boredom.
I am uninterested
been and got the thesaurus, been and looked it up,
I was right, there are many ways to say it -
fed up, tired and jaded.
So very very jaded.
Time moves like an elderly snail and I am stuck here,
Writing a poem about how very very bored I am.
How very very bored am I?
So bored that even my boredom is boring.
You know you’re bored when you look up alternative words for bored.
Bored, boring, boredom, so very very bored.
You know you are bored when your boredom becomes inspiration,
When a poem about your boredness is more interesting than drying paint.
I write about my boredom, but it does not go away.
My boredom stays, I stay bored.
Bored stiff.
Bored to death.
Bored to tears.
Bored out of my skull.
How very very bored am I?
I am bored.
I wonder how many people on the planet are bored right now;
A million, a hundred, just one…just me?
As most of you will probably have observed by now if you live in that area, a new Wagamamas restaurant has opened up in Gunwarf Quays in Portsmouth. I was lucky enough to be invited along to one of their preview days at the end of March and, having been to one of their other locations previously and quite enjoying it, I jumped at the chance to do it again, this time for free!
Wagamamas restaurant chain aims to recreate the atmosphere of a traditional ramen noodle cafeteria in Japan, and, with almost every seat in the house filled with people like me, they certainly achieved their aim the day I went. My partner in this adventure (Adam) and I were seated across from each other at one of the long communal benches, though there are booths provided for the non open-minded Westerner who prefers to eat his meal in a less social way. (Fear not though – although the ideal of these benches is for people to mix and interact, there is plenty of space for you to both eat comfortably and ignore your neighbours if you so choose.)
When I told my Mother I was having Japanese food for lunch, she wrinkled her nose and said “But you don’t like sushi”. Luckily, Tokyo has much more to offer the culinary world than that, and there wasn’t any of the raw fishy stuff on the menu. (more…)
